The Sermon on the Mount

Hello twat bubbles

I want to share with you my favourite passage from the Bible. It's in Matthew 21:24 were Jesus, having finished giving his Sermon on the Mount, rugby tackles Judas to the ground, and farts on his head:

And lo, Jesus did rip one off, that all Israel did hear it and all Israel did smell it. And Judas, firmly clamped between the Lord's thighs, did beareth the brunt. And in the years following, the surrounding area* fell fallow; no crops yieldeth, and no tree did beareth its fruit. Verily, it was "divine gas". 

And Jesus, after comporting himself, did sayeth ,"I had that one corked since last night."

This incident may explain Judas's subsequent behaviour and bad reputation. I think he had a right to be annoyed; Jesus basically humiliated him in front of thousands of people. What kind of boss does that to his employees?

*an approximate three mile radius