A Presentation By Jonathan

EARLY MODERN

COCK FARTS

Before the presentation, a special mix tape of Jonathan's favourite music will be played. Artists included are Steps, Village People, Celine Dion and Fudge Tunnel. At approximately 8.30 pm, Jonathan, dressed in a white spandex jumpsuit with the bottom cut out, will launch himself on stage from a nearby trampet. He will then commence juggling with three aborted foetuses to the sounds of I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor . After this crowd pleasing opener, special wires will hoist Jonathan high into the building's rafters, from where he will swoop down on the audience and menace them with the larger of his two penises. After regaling theatregoers on the above subject, Jonathan will end the evening by eating a live crow, bringing about a cathartic epiphany in the audience, who quite rightly bring the house down.