The Parable of the Dinner Invitations

 Jesus had attracted a crowd in Jerusalem. And he said to them ‘let me tell you a parable, and you tell me what it’s all about.’ And he told the parable:

A man wished to have a dinner party. He tells his servant, ‘take these invitations to my three best friends and come back with their answers.’

 The servant did as he was told and later he came back with the responses. He said, ‘my lord, your first friend he could not come, for he said he would be busy digging a trench on his allotment that day. Your second friend could not make dinner, for it clashed with his daughter’s bowls competition. And your third friend said he was unable to attend because he had recently had his knees amputated and therefore found it difficult to walk long distances.’  

In response to the news that his friends could not make the dinner party, the man had his servant thrown off a high cliff. He then sent gifts to his three friends thanking them for politely declining the invitations.

‘Do you see what this particular story means?’ asked Jesus.

One woman in the crowd spoke up: ‘sir, this story’s morals are atrocious. The man kills his servant, who was entirely innocent of any sin. What possible lesson could one learn from it?’

‘You see, it’s metaphorical’ said Jesus, who had anticipated the criticism. ‘God represents the man, and the servant is representative of humans. God generally wants to kill humans, because he hates them, and in this parable he does just that. What’s the parable’s lesson? The human race needs to buck its ideas up or God will kill them, by jiminy!

‘So who do the three friends represent in the parable?’ asked the woman.

‘I’m sorry?’ said Jesus.

‘Who do the three friends represent in the parable, the ones that refuse the dinner party invites?’

Jesus looked uncertain, for he had often overlooked that part of the parable. He was silent for a long period before giving his answer. ‘They’re space robots’, he said eventually.