FAST AND BULBOUS

I've just been reading Now magazine (I can't help it, I'm addicted. I'm scared. I'm really, really scared). It was an article about diets. The person in question, Fanny Appleyard, gave her moving story on how she managed to reduce her weight. The headline reads:

I LOST 3 STONE IN 17 DAYS. HOW? I CONTRACTED DYSENTERY.