Hey eggplants.


This is a new idea that will launch my career as a TV mogul and excremental pornographer.


CHOMPING ON ROADKILL
Synopsis:

A couple are given a bin bag and an hour to scrape up dead animals on a local A road. They then have to serve what they've found to an unknowing couple at a dinner party.  Cue lots of funny action and dialogue in the kitchen as they prepare the meal ("Don't thin the sauce", "Where's the paprika?", "Can you grill squirrel?", "You show more tenderness with that badger than you have with me in ten years of marriage! I want a divorce Gary!", etc.). After much stilted conversation and forced joviality, it is revealed to the other couple that they've been eating flash-fried bits of carrion swarming with parasites and marinaded in Gary's piss. At this point in the programme I'm hoping they will laugh and see the funny side rather than recoil in horror and threaten legal action.

I see this show as similar to Come Dine With Me, only the contestants won't be quite so insufferably middle-class and smug.


I need funds for my idea, of course. You can make donations at this website: http://www.wankingwithchopsticks.co.uk/