I think I've come up with a great idea for a television programme. It's quite cerebral and highbrow. Here it is:



RIM MY PROSTATE


This is what's know in the business as a "high concept".

And this is how I'm going to pitch it to the ITV executive when I meet her in an interview that will take place in my imagination on Friday.

The stars really come out to play in this interactive gameshow. It's a deceptively simple idea: celebrities have to perform the unlikely sex act described in the programme's title on a 72 year-old gentleman. This man then passes judgement on their performance using withering sarcasm that often reduces the hapless celebs to tears. Stars for the first edition TBC*, but those rumoured to be appearing include 90s popstar Whigfield, Martin Amis, Immanuel Kant and one of the interchangeable blonde girls from Hollyoaks.
At first, I thought I would have the celebrities donate their fees to a worthy charity e.g. a children's hospital, third world aid, cancer research etc. But then I thought it would be better if they gave their appearance money directly to me, and then I would use that money to buy myself something nice at the shops.

What does everyone think of it? I'm interested in feedback, as long as it's positive and you validate me as a human being. If this is not the case, you can piss off.  


*I apologise for confusing you with an acronym. If you're in showbusiness like I am, you sometimes don't have time to use "words". But as you're not involved in the biz, I'll help you out just this once: TBC stands for "The Balloon Council".